Robocop

Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!

Today's review is Robocop.

Directed by José Padilha.

Written by Joshua Zetumer.

Based on the screenplay "Robocop" written by Edward Neumeier & Micheal Miner

Review #244

MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action including frenetic gun violence throughout, brief strong language, sensuality and some drug material.

Run Time: 117 min

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Cast

Joel Kinnaman...Alex Murphy / RoboCop

Gary Oldman...Dr. Dennett Norton

Michael Keaton...Raymond Sellars

Abbie Cornish...Clara Murphy

Jackie Earle Haley...Rick Mattox

Michael K. Williams...Jack Lewis

Jennifer Ehle...Liz Kline

Jay Baruchel...Tom Pope

Marianne Jean-Baptiste...Chief Karen Dean

Samuel L. Jackson...Pat Novak

Aimee Garcia...Jae Kim

Reboots are Hollywood's way of Jedi mind tricking people that their film isn't a remake. The purpose of a reboot is to exorcise the demons a studios previous franchise left their wallets. The finest example I can give is Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy. Warner Bros had taken quite a few lumps to the head after Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. To regain some credibility the character and property was ripped up and rebuilt from the ground up. We all know the end results of Nolan's three films. Now we're getting reboots all over the place so with every studio dusting off classic films off the shelf to reboot for the "modern" audience. Some genius figured it would be a good idea to reboot Robocop.

As usual....They were wrong! DEAD WRONG!

Plot

In 2028 Detroit, when Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) - a loving husband, father and good cop - is critically injured in the line of duty, the multinational conglomerate OmniCorp sees their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer.

Before I begin let me say that I loved the original Robocop. However, I don't canonize it as a classic film. It was simple and fun. There were no complications with Paul Verhoeven's film. A cop is killed in a crime ridden city and is reborn as a robotic officer that cleans up the town. This abomination does the exact opposite. There is nothing simple about this film. EVERYTHING is complicated or worse nonsensical. The only worthwhile part of this film is Joel Kinnaman as Alex Murphy and even he begins to wear me down to the point that I wish for his demise as the film progresses.

I don't feel like writing a lot about this film so I'll just get into my biggest complaint and I'll phrase it in the form of a question. What was the biggest problem Detroit had in the 1987 original?

CRIME!!!!

The place was a filthy, crime ridden war zone that had the law enforcement on the run for their lives threatening to strike. You look back at the original and the place was just disgusting. Nobody in their right mind would want to live there. Then when Robocop is born the city gets safer and criminals think twice before taking on the indestructible lawman. Ironically it had elements of the caped crusader. This version of Robocop is clean. Too clean. To avoid this becoming a straight up beat by beat remake, the motivation for wanting a Robocop are different and it was just flat out....

STOOPID!!!!

Next. Let's get to the villains. At least what this joke of a film tries to pass off as villains. The original had Clarence Boddicker and that guy was pure scum. He begged for a bad ending with his antics and maniacal nature. The point is he played a VILLAIN! Someone who does really really REALLY bad things which eventually lead to his comeuppance in the last shot. The Boddicker wannabe here is a plain Jane gun runner who scares me about as much as my niece when she's playing with her Lego's. Not once did I fear or care about the fortitude of this guy and it was the underlying theme of this horrendous reboot.

Then they commit the greatest sin of all. Just to make their mark and stamp across everyone's forehead that this a new take on a classic character. They changed the color of his armor. One of the coolest parts of the original was the silver and black paint job. The purpose was to make him look like a robot. Here they went this way just to do it and the reasoning behind it was even more ridiculous.

Just horrible.

I could go on but I've written more than this piece of S**T deserves. I was on the fence about seeing this film in the first place. The only reason why I did was because I got a free pass from a friend of mine.

I WANT A REFUND!!!!

On the 5 star scale. Robocop gets the goose egg. 0 stars. With a "For The Love of God Stay Home!" recommendation.

That's a wrap for today.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You Seat!"

"D"