300: Rise of an Empire

Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!

Today's review is 300: Rise of an Empire.

Directed by Noam Murro.

Written by Zack Snyder & Kurt Johnstad.

Based on the graphic novel "Xerxes" Written by Frank Miller.

Review #246

MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong sustained sequences of stylized bloody violence throughout, a sex scene, nudity and some language.

Run Time: 102 min

Hulk Spoils Hollywood Podcast Page

Cast

Sullivan Stapleton...Themistocles

Eva Green...Artemisia

Lena Headey...Queen Gorgo

Hans Matheson...Aesyklos

Callan Mulvey...Scyllias

David Wenham...Dilios

Rodrigo Santoro...Xerxes

Jack O'Connell...Calisto

Andrew Tiernan...Ephialtes

Igal Naor...King Darius

300 was a pretty good film. Despite it's historical inaccuracies about the battle at Thermopylae (it's based on a comic book people....lay off) the stunning visuals and over the top performance by Gerard Butler gave the film a cult status that is still in force today. So after a eight years we are treated to the latest story of the war between Persia and Greece. So the questions that need to be asked is....

Does this film do anything new or just give you more of the same you liked in 300? The answer is more of the same.

Next question.

Was this a good thing? Depends on how much you liked the first film. For me the answer is Yes.

Final question.

Is eight years too long to return to the world of 300? The answer is a resounding YES.

And this was not a good thing.

Plot

Greek general Themistokles leads the charge against invading Persian forces led by mortal-turned-god Xerxes and Artemisia, vengeful commander of the Persian navy.

This film faced two major obstacles that it unfortunately couldn't overcome. The first was lack of originality and the second was time. I didn't read Miller's "Xerxes" so I have no idea how faithful this adaptation was to the graphic novel. So going on blind faith I will give the film credit for trying something bold with the story. Which was toe the line between being a prequel, sequel and outright solo film. This film balances all three aspects which could be very difficult to navigate through. Jumping back and forth through time the way this film does would not have been my way to go.

But of course that's why I blog about the movies instead of making them.

Bottom line is 300: Rise of an Empire does a nice job swimming through potentially harsh waters. The story is relatively easy to follow. Complete with new characters that you could get behind.

The first one being Themistokles played by Sullivan Stapleton. Let's get the obvious out of the way. He's not Leonidas. He never will be and more importantly wasn't supposed to be. Themistokles is an Athenian general who adopts a more democratic view of the country and particularly Athens. Sparta was filled with cocky pricks who looked down on anyone they felt was inferior to them.

Case in point is in this scene pictured above. Themistokles goes to Sparta to see Queen Gorgo whose role is expanded a bit more than in 300. Leonidas has already left for the hot gates so Gorgo takes the meeting and the first thing she says to him is this.

"So Themistokles have you come to stroke your c**k while watching real men train?"

The arrogance of that statement knows no bounds. Regardless it points out an obvious reality that Greece is a divided country not just by geography but by ideology as well. Themistokles comes to Sparta to seek counsel and help by uniting all of Greece against Xerxes. And for his trouble he's met with derision and insults. It was in a way frustrating to watch but you had to have this happen so the rest of the film can play on the way it eventually does.

How it plays out is simply more of what the original 300 gave us which was battle after battle chock full of super slooooooo moooooo and a ton of blood and guts. The difference here was a majority of the battles took place at sea.

This was both a help and a hindrance of the film. On one hand you got to see how Themistokles and his army was able to use their tactical prowess against Xerxes overwhelming numbers. Very similar to the original 300. On the other hand, having most of the battles take place on the water, it limited what they could do which led to eventual stale battles.

Of course all of this becomes moot when the real star of the show comes out to shine.

There is no question about it that 300: Rise of an Empire is Artemisia's film played by the talented and equally stunning Eva Green. This woman is a bona fide knockout and goes toe to toe with the boys here. In fact she has more balls that Queen Gorgo of Sparta. Oh how I would have loved to see the two of them go at it (get your dirty minds out the gutter). Artemisia dominates this movie from the very beginning but that doesn't mean she was perfect. Green clearly had some fun playing this part and took the opportunity to chew the scenery every chance she could. This unfortunately made her cartoonish at times when in the beginning she had established herself as a formidable foe.

In fact her character began to change right around the time this scene took place between her and Themistokles. For some insane reason these two enemies have crazy rough sex together. It was the most nonsensical part of the film. It goes on way too long and had no purpose other than to titillate the audience. There are better ways to get that kind of arousal and this wasn't one of them. I understood the intention and in theory it was a good idea but the execution was poor and miscalculated. Again having not read the graphic novel I wonder if this scene was in the book. I guess I'll never know because I don't care enough about this film or Miller's book to find out.

Which basically sums up my thoughts on this film. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't great either. It was pretty much middle of the road with the same been there, done that action that the first 300 had and has been done better in other films since. In the case of 300: Rise of an Empire, Greece's greatest enemy wasn't Persia.

It was the calendar.

On the 5 star scale. 300: Rise of an Empire gets 2 stars. With a "Netflix It" recommendation.

That's a wrap for today.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"

"D"

The Lego Movie

Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!

Today's review is The Lego Movie.

Written & Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller.

Screen Story by Dan Hageman, Kevin Hageman, Phil Lord & Christopher Miller.

Review #245

MPAA Rating: Rated PG for mild action and rude humor.

Run Time: 100 min

Hulk Spoils Hollywood Podcast Page

Cast

Chris Pratt...Emmet Brickowoski (voice) 


Will Arnett...Batman / Bruce Wayne (voice)

Elizabeth Banks...Wyldstyle / Lucy (voice)

Alison Brie...Unikitty (voice)

Charlie Day...Benny (voice)

Will Ferrell...Lord Business / President Business / The Man Upstairs (voice)

Morgan Freeman...Vitruvius (voice)

Liam Neeson...Bad Cop / Good Cop / Pa Cop (voice)

The Lego Movie. The thought of it was mind boggling to me when it was announced. It came around the time that a potential movie about Angry Birds was rumored. At that point I had jumped the shark. Then a funny thing happened. I did what I've been telling everyone else to do when Ben Affleck was cast to play Batman. Wait for a trailer. My opinions regarding the upcoming Batman vs Superman movie has changed DRAMATICALLY since then (and not in a good way) but my initial philosophy of trailer reaction was applied to this film and boy was I in there like swimwear.

Simply put....This film ROCKED!!!!

Plot

An ordinary LEGO minifigure, mistakenly thought to be the extraordinary MasterBuilder, is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil LEGO tyrant from gluing the universe together.

The funny thing about my reaction to this film when first announced was that I should have seen the premise coming a mile away and I didn't. It was so simple and right in my face and yet it took the trailer to convince me of it's potential. The LEGO world is so expansive with characters that the possibilities for stories are endless. What Lord and Miller accomplished was take the time honored story of the nobody and make him a somebody while surrounding him with characters that range everywhere from comics to movies to cartoons.

Simple yet BRILLIANT!
Of course this film would be nothing without the unbelievable roster characters that the LEGO toys has to offer. You name it there's a pretty good chance you saw it in this movie. There were a bunch of characters that played very small roles and some that were relegated to cameos. No matter how much screen time they had, they all played a role in the story and the plentiful amount of jokes this movie had. Now I'm sure by now that aside from our hero Emmet the Lego that steals the show is none other than the Dark Knight himself.....

Batman.

If Batman was your favorite character in the film I would not begrudge you one single bit. Will Arnett was amazing as the Caped Crusader. His comedic timing with the jokes was spot on and he did what any good comedian would do playing Batman. He parodied Christian Bale's ridiculous voice when he was man behind the cape and cowl. It was so much fun to watch Arnett channel Batman and apply the witty humor that Lord and Miller gave the character. All that being said. Batman was not my favorite character in this film. I know that might sound sacrilegious but for me the funniest character in The Lego Movie was unquestionably.....

Bad Cop.

Bad cop was nothing special in terms of his standing in the Lego character world but when channeled through the ferocious Irish brogue of Liam Neeson. Bad Cop was born and he stole the show for me. His demeanor was so over the top that you couldn't resist laughing at the mere sight of him. Bad Cop made me laugh so much that when the film wasn't going through any funny moments I was cracking up at a moments earlier in the film with Bad Cop and his exploits. I don't know why they chose to do this but every time Bad Cop threw a fit he took his anger out on a chair. Even if a chair was nowhere near him he would disappear off screen, find one and hurl it at one of his minions.

It was hysterical. Bad Cop for life baby!

No matter who you fancied in this film. The Lego Movie had something for everyone. Including the adults. Walking into this film I was expecting a fun light comedy that was aimed at kids. That was part of the appeal but this movie was NOT made for kids. I'm not suggesting that this film was dirty or unsuitable for kids. Far from it. I'm just saying that about 90-95% of the jokes are aimed at the adults in the room and to counter the balance they would include some funny animation or action moment to keep the little ones entertained. It was a nice way to give everyone they're cake and eat it too.

The bottom line is The Lego Movie was a triumph in animation, writing and most importantly story telling. With film's like this there's always a message that resonates throughout the narrative that eventually comes to a head in the conclusion. That happens here and it was a nice touch and twist to what you thought was a typical fantasy setting in the magical land of Lego's.

To put it quite simply. As far as The Lego Movie is concerned.

EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

On the 5 star scale. The Lego Movie gets the full house 5 stars. With a "Worth Every Penny!" recommendation.

That's a wrap for today.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"

"D"

Robocop

Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!

Today's review is Robocop.

Directed by José Padilha.

Written by Joshua Zetumer.

Based on the screenplay "Robocop" written by Edward Neumeier & Micheal Miner

Review #244

MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action including frenetic gun violence throughout, brief strong language, sensuality and some drug material.

Run Time: 117 min

Hulk Spoils Hollywood Podcast Page

Cast

Joel Kinnaman...Alex Murphy / RoboCop

Gary Oldman...Dr. Dennett Norton

Michael Keaton...Raymond Sellars

Abbie Cornish...Clara Murphy

Jackie Earle Haley...Rick Mattox

Michael K. Williams...Jack Lewis

Jennifer Ehle...Liz Kline

Jay Baruchel...Tom Pope

Marianne Jean-Baptiste...Chief Karen Dean

Samuel L. Jackson...Pat Novak

Aimee Garcia...Jae Kim

Reboots are Hollywood's way of Jedi mind tricking people that their film isn't a remake. The purpose of a reboot is to exorcise the demons a studios previous franchise left their wallets. The finest example I can give is Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy. Warner Bros had taken quite a few lumps to the head after Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. To regain some credibility the character and property was ripped up and rebuilt from the ground up. We all know the end results of Nolan's three films. Now we're getting reboots all over the place so with every studio dusting off classic films off the shelf to reboot for the "modern" audience. Some genius figured it would be a good idea to reboot Robocop.

As usual....They were wrong! DEAD WRONG!

Plot

In 2028 Detroit, when Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) - a loving husband, father and good cop - is critically injured in the line of duty, the multinational conglomerate OmniCorp sees their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer.

Before I begin let me say that I loved the original Robocop. However, I don't canonize it as a classic film. It was simple and fun. There were no complications with Paul Verhoeven's film. A cop is killed in a crime ridden city and is reborn as a robotic officer that cleans up the town. This abomination does the exact opposite. There is nothing simple about this film. EVERYTHING is complicated or worse nonsensical. The only worthwhile part of this film is Joel Kinnaman as Alex Murphy and even he begins to wear me down to the point that I wish for his demise as the film progresses.

I don't feel like writing a lot about this film so I'll just get into my biggest complaint and I'll phrase it in the form of a question. What was the biggest problem Detroit had in the 1987 original?

CRIME!!!!

The place was a filthy, crime ridden war zone that had the law enforcement on the run for their lives threatening to strike. You look back at the original and the place was just disgusting. Nobody in their right mind would want to live there. Then when Robocop is born the city gets safer and criminals think twice before taking on the indestructible lawman. Ironically it had elements of the caped crusader. This version of Robocop is clean. Too clean. To avoid this becoming a straight up beat by beat remake, the motivation for wanting a Robocop are different and it was just flat out....

STOOPID!!!!

Next. Let's get to the villains. At least what this joke of a film tries to pass off as villains. The original had Clarence Boddicker and that guy was pure scum. He begged for a bad ending with his antics and maniacal nature. The point is he played a VILLAIN! Someone who does really really REALLY bad things which eventually lead to his comeuppance in the last shot. The Boddicker wannabe here is a plain Jane gun runner who scares me about as much as my niece when she's playing with her Lego's. Not once did I fear or care about the fortitude of this guy and it was the underlying theme of this horrendous reboot.

Then they commit the greatest sin of all. Just to make their mark and stamp across everyone's forehead that this a new take on a classic character. They changed the color of his armor. One of the coolest parts of the original was the silver and black paint job. The purpose was to make him look like a robot. Here they went this way just to do it and the reasoning behind it was even more ridiculous.

Just horrible.

I could go on but I've written more than this piece of S**T deserves. I was on the fence about seeing this film in the first place. The only reason why I did was because I got a free pass from a friend of mine.

I WANT A REFUND!!!!

On the 5 star scale. Robocop gets the goose egg. 0 stars. With a "For The Love of God Stay Home!" recommendation.

That's a wrap for today.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You Seat!"

"D"

Dallas Buyers Club

Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!

Today's review is Dallas Buyers Club.

Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée.

Written by Craig Borten & Melisa Wallack.

Review #243

MPAA Rating: Rated R for pervasive language, some strong sexual content, nudity and drug use.

Run Time: 117 min

Hulk Spoils Hollywood Podcast Page

Cast

Matthew McConaughey...Ron Woodroof

Jennifer Garner...Eve

Jared Leto...Rayon

Denis O'Hare...Dr. Sevard

Steve Zahn...Tucker

What's up everyone. After a bit of a break. I'm back and what a way to kick off my return with a film that goes deep into the minds and motivations of people living in a time where the HIV and AIDS virus caused mass panic and hysteria. There have been films made in the past that dealt with this topic but none quite like this. Based on a true story of Ron Woodroof. Dallas Buyers Club takes you on a journey that goes way beyond the black market pharmaceutical business.

Plot

In 1985 Dallas, electrician and hustler Ron Woodroof works around the system to help AIDS patients get the medication they need after he is himself diagnosed with the disease.

There's so much to like about this movie. The performances which were stellar by all. The story which has the heart and soul of the real life events it depicts. However, these two aspects don't hold a candle to the messages Dallas Buyers Club sends. Don't believe me? Take a look at the tag line at the top of the film's poster. "SOMETIMES IT TAKES A HUSTLER TO CHANGE THE WORLD."

I can't sum it up any better.

This is the real Ron Woodroof. He's long since passed away but his story did change the world by exposing a reality that many of us know now. Chris Rock said it best in one of his concerts. "The money's not in the cure....The money's in the medicine." He was dead on and so was Dallas Buyers Club. The film portrays the seediness and corruptible nature of the health care industry during the AIDS epidemic of the 80's. The experimental drugs and treatments passed by the FDA were making the patients sicker and in most cases killing them. So what happens when a degenerate drunk and whoring junkie finds an alternative to help these people that's seeing positive results?

You can do the math.

This was the most disappointing part of watching this magnificent film. Being reminded that getting to the finish line first for these companies was more important than saving people's lives. It was tough to stomach. That being said the frustration of that situation was easily quelled by the spectacular performance of Matthew McConaughey. This man has been through a career renaissance. A McConaissance if you will. After languishing in god awful rom com's with the likes of Jennifer Lopez and Kate Hudson. McConaughey has reclaimed his good name and re-established himself as a high caliber performer. It started with his performance in the film Mud. Check out my review HERE. From there he went on a major roll. From Magic Mike to his small cameo in The Wolf of Wall Street and now his stunning portrayal of Detective Rustin Cole on HBO's amazing show True Detective. The man is on fire and this film is getting him the recognition he's long deserved.

Now let's get the obvious stuff out of the way. It's no secret that the man looks nothing like the McConaughey that we are accustomed to seeing. This dude went on a serious diet to put it mildly. The last time I saw an actor go through a transformation like this for a role was Christian Bale in The Machinist. He was scary looking in that film and McConaughey is just as frightening in Dallas Buyers Club. There's no escaping that his physical appearance lends credence to his performance but his true brilliance comes from the attitudes and behavior he exhibits. Woodroof is a redneck loser that literally screwed himself into an early grave. Top that off with some back woods views on the world when it comes to homosexuals and you have yourself a rotten person plain and simple. It's those parts of McConaughey's performance that makes his star shine the brightest. He makes you root for the villain. Not an easy task but he pulls it off masterfully.

Of course he did have some help.

That is Jared Leto. Hard to believe right? After taking some time off from the big screen he's returned with a vengeance. It's not uncommon for an actor to take a small or "safe" role to get back into the game. Leto does neither in this case. If McConaughey's Woodroof is The Hulk then Leto's Rayon is Bruce Banner.

Forgive The Hulk reference but by now you should know if I can get one in I will.

Rayon is the calming influence that wafts around the film and Woodroof. Which is ironic since Woodroof struts around sporting anti gay sentiments and temperament. Like many people back in those days. The HIV and AIDS virus was solely a homosexual disease. Woodroof and his buddies spend the early portion of the film not shying away from those feelings. It isn't until Woodroof becomes ostracized himself that he realizes that despite his bigotry, a mutually beneficial alliance can be made. 

Leto was in a word stunning as Rayon. He owns the character outright and balances out Woodroof's rusty facade making these two quite a dynamic duo. Its no surprise that both leads are strong contenders for some Oscar hardware. McConaughey is the front runner for Best Actor and Leto was the hot guy but Micheal Fassbender may give him a run for Best Supporting Actor. Curious who I picked for the awards?

Check out my podcast where I pick this year's winners.

Shameless plug I know. Sue me. =)

The bottom line here is Dallas Buyers Club is a film that should be seen for several reasons. The performances, story and depiction of a man who struggled to fight himself. A life taking disease and a health system that worked in concert to do more harm than good.

On the 5 star scale. Dallas Buyers Club gets 4 stars with a "Worth Every Penny!" recommendation.

That's a wrap for today.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"

"D"