Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!
Today's review is The Expendables 2.
Directed by Simon West.
Written by Richard Wenk & Sylvester Stallone.
Screen Story by Ken Kaufman, David Agosto & Richard Wenk.
Based on characters created by Dave Callaham.
Review #170
MPAA Rating: R for strong bloody violence throughout.
Run Time: 103 min
Cast
Sylvester Stallone ...Barney Ross
Jason Statham ...Lee Christmas
Jet Li ...Yin Yang
Dolph Lundgren ...Gunner Jensen
Chuck Norris ...Booker
Jean-Claude Van Damme ...Vilain
Bruce Willis ...Church
Arnold Schwarzenegger ...Trench
Terry Crews ...Hale Caesar
Randy Couture ...Toll Road
Liam Hemsworth ...Bill The Kid
Scott Adkins ...Hector
Nan Yu ...Maggie
The Expendables was a fun movie that brought back the action stars from the days of old. It was a highly flawed yet fun film to watch. It carried quite a bit of nostalgia which brought you back to the days of Rambo, Die Hard and Commando. It didn't matter that the main players were WAY past their action primes. What mattered was that these guys had fun making this film and I had fun watching it. The marginal success of the first film naturally segued into a sequel. A sequel that promised bigger and badder action with more former legends of the silver screen.
Plot
Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck,
but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for
revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected
threat.
The most important thing to remember going into this film is that it's a parody of all the action films these guys made in the past. The script is cheesy. The dialogue is cheesier and the action at times demands suspension of disbelief. All of those things is what makes The Expendables 2 so much more fun than it's predecessor.
The first film tried to be more serious than this updated retread. That's one of the biggest problems with The Expendables. The story gets too mired in it's attempt to be legitimate while also playing the over the top card. This time all of the unwanted sub plots and messy narrative is stripped away and replaced with a bare bones action packed ride that is meant for pure entertainment. You're not supposed to take this film at face value. You're supposed to watch stuff get blown to pieces. And do it with a big smile on your face. If you can do that then this will be a very rewarding experience for you.
As expected this film is balls to the wall action. In fact it showcases some pretty damn impressive set pieces. The ante is upped to a high degree here and it shows in every possible way. From the camera work to the editing to the stunt work. All of the action blends nicely while giving us the thrills of the impossible.
All of this gets amplified by the appearances and performances of the 3 greatest action legends of our time. Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger all look and feel absurd in this film. They have no business doing any of the things they do. But man was it fun watching them do it. The rest of the cast do their part by blending in and giving the team the extra weight they need to pull off the missions they are on. The plot if you can call it that does a ridiculous job introducing Chuck Norris' character but who care.
It's Chuck Norris.
Not to beat a dead horse but that's what makes this movie so much fun. Everyone involved knows and accepts the fact that they are now cartoon characters. That fact is not only embraced. It's used to it's highest caliber. An example is in the opening scene. The team rescues their target and run into Schwarzenneger's character Trench. He asks for a gun and when Terry Crews' Caesar gives him one, here's the banter between the two.'
Caesar - "If I don't get this back from you. Your ass is terminated!"
Trench - "In your dreams."
They don't care that they are being fun of. It's recognized and spread throughout. There are even some Chuck Norris jokes in there too. You know the ones I mean. The Chuck Norris jokes that make fun of how tough he's supposed to be. Like Superman wears Chuck Norris' pajamas. It's stuff like that that brought a nice grin on my kisser.
The thing that really made me smile was the performance of Jean Claude Van Damme. He was absolutely bad ass as the villain named Villain. Get it....villain....Villain? Nice touch by the writers on that one. JCVD channels his first ever role as the Russian villain in No Retreat No Surrender and brings that and much more to the table. His screen time is limited but his charisma and bad attitude are commanding and a very acceptable antagonist to the Expendables unit.
His opening introduction to the film was a kick (no pun intended) to watch. Then to cap it off, his final fight with Stallone or should I say Stallone and Van Dammne's stuntmen was a blast to behold. Their ages wasn't that obvious in the contest. It was a real treat. Van Damme finally had a role worth playing. He made the right choice passing on the first film.
All told The Expendables 2 is not going to win any awards. It's not supposed to. It's supposed to be 90 minutes of explosions. bullets and bodies flying everywhere. Can't wait to see what and who's in store for The Expendables 3.
On the 5 star scale. The Expendables 2 gets 3.5 stars with a "Go See It!" recommendation.
That's a wrap for today. Up next is Paranorman.
Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"
"D"
The Bourne Legacy
Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!
Today's review is The Bourne Legacy.
Directed by Tony Gilroy
Written by Tony Gilroy & Dan Gilroy.
Screen Story by Tony Gilroy
Inspired by the Jason Bourne series. Written by Robert Ludlum.
Review #169
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violence and action sequences.
Run Time: 135 min
Cast: In Order of Appearance
Jeremy Renner ... Aaron Cross
Scott Glenn ... Ezra Kramer
Stacy Keach ... Retired Adm. Mark Turso, USN
Edward Norton ... Retired Col. Eric Byer, USAF
Donna Murphy ... Dita Mandy
Michael Chernus ... Arthur Ingram
Rachel Weisz ... Dr. Marta Shearing
Neil Brooks Cunningham ... Dr. Dan Hillcott
Zeljko Ivanek ... Dr. Donald Foite
Albert Finney ... Dr. Albert Hirsch
Dennis Boutsikaris ... Terrence Ward
Oscar Isaac ... Outcome #3
David Strathairn ... Noah Vosen
The Jason Bourne franchise has been one of the more entertaining and profitable set of films to tackle the espionage genre. We have Robert Ludlum, Matt Damon, Doug Liman and Paul Greengrass to thank for that. However there is one name that is not recognized and he damn well should be.
Tony Gilroy.
He wrote or co wrote all three Bourne films. They established the blueprint for the rest of the talent to make those wonderful movies. You could even see the progression of each film in terms of severity, technique and overall story arc. That's all Gilroy. Without his input, those films would not be half as good as they actually were.
So here we are today as Gilroy takes the reigns both behind the typewriter and the camera with a new/not so new addition to the Bourne saga. And who better to continue where Damon and Greengrass left off than the man responsible for the stories in the first place.
Plot
An expansion of the universe from Robert Ludlum's novels, centered on a new hero whose stakes have been triggered by the events of the previous three films.
The first thing to realize going into this movie is that it's not a sequel in the sense that we are all accustomed to. This move takes place as events in The Bourne Ultimatum are happening as well. It's a very clever and bold move. It's also extremely risky. Gilroy rolls the dice that the public have either seen the last Bourne film or remember what happens in it. It's a big gamble that pays off if you take this film as part of the Jason Bourne DNA. If you walk into it expecting a stand alone Bourne type adventure then you will not like this film.
Aside from the tricky back and forth between The Bourne Ultimatum events and what happens with Cross, there is a lot to like about this movie. The first being Jeremy Renner. Cross is not like Bourne in any way. He doesn't have to recover his memory. He's at the height of his training and is fully aware of his status with his outfit. He plays Cross with the same robotic nature that all of these "special" agents do. There is a little more emotion behind him though because he's not trying to recall who and what he is. That is until the people who created him want him dead. This is where the movie falls into familiar territory. It takes a while to get there but you have to remember that Jason Bourne is not "directly" part of this new entry. Establishing Cross is necessary to get the ball rolling when he kicks ass later on.
Speaking of kicking ass.
There's plenty of that kind of action that you come to expect from a Bourne film. The fights are well choreographed but poorly edited. I totally get the idea of showcasing Cross' skill set and film makers in general use the editing room to do that when the better option is doing what they do in Hong Kong. They employ a technique called editing in camera. Just like in the states the fights are choreographed, rehearsed and blocked. Then when it's time to shoot they film a sequence uninterrupted and then change angles to vary the look of the action. Over here they over shoot the hell out of the fight then puzzle it together in post. As an editor. I know and respect the value of having coverage. That doesn't mean you always have to use it.
That's why it's called editing.
That being said it's not all that bad. The cuts are just too whimsical for my taste. There's not much room to breathe when Cross is dispatching a group of assailants. Perhaps it's finally time for me to dust off one of my old kung fu scripts. Shoot a fight and show these dudes how to properly cut a fight scene.
As always, the action serves as a vehicle to move the story along which at times can get a bit heavy. Gilroy opens up a huge pandora's box here concerning the mythology of Treadstone and Blackbriar. I won't say what he does but it's both smart and overbearing at the same time. This is the main issue with the film. It doesn't stand on it's own two feet as it was portrayed. The initial impression is that the film needed Jason Bourne's presence to get things off the ground. Again it was a clever move but the side effect is that you might think too much about Jason Bourne when you're supposed to be watching Cross. This is a small gripe for me but I can see how it can be a deterrent for someone else.
My biggest gripe or gripes deal with two important plot points.
The first is a signature fight. In all three Bourne films. Jason Bourne has a one on one contest with a Treadstone agent tasked with taking him out. All of those fights had the same elements in common.
They showed Bourne's fighting ability.
The men fighting him were equally skilled as he was.
Bourne showed his uncanny ability to improvise weaponry to gain the upper hand. He uses the pen in The Bourne Identity. The rolled up magazine in The Bourne Supremacy. Finally the book and towel in The Bourne Ultimatum.
Finally they all showed that he could not be bested.
So how does the signature fight with Cross compare. It doesn't. Because there wasn't one. This is a CRIME. What's even more egregious is the film gives Cross and me for that matter the opportunity to have that signature fight and it gets wasted. In addition the "villain" sent to go after him is built up to be some kind of bad ass and his demise is met in the lamest of ways.
So sad.
My other gripe is the ending. Like part of the plot, the climax suffers from and identity crisis. No pun intended. As you would expect it's open ended to try and franchise the saga with Renner behind the action. However, there's one shot in the film that screams closure point. You will know it when you see it. The adjustments to the ending felt like a tack on instead of a conclusion.
The rest of the cast in this film is good. Edward Norton highlights the squad. He plays Beyer with just the right amount of good vs evil balance. On the surface he's not a villain like Chris Cooper or David Strathairn were. They're motive was to save their own butts. Beyer is trying to contain the damage that those two created when they were hunting Bourne. Stacy Keach does an admirable job playing the head man and Rachel Weisz steps into Franka Potente's shoes nicely as the female sidekick. Her character has a lot more to offer in this instead of just eye candy. This was a nice and welcomed tweak to the roster.
Bottom line. The Bourne Legacy is a pretty good film. It's flawed but it rekindles your love of the Bourne universe. With a little more spit and polish, the potential for another great espionage franchise could be on the horizon.
On the 5 star scale. The Bourne Legacy gets 3.5 stars. With a "Go See It!" recommendation.
That's a wrap for today. Up next is The Expendables 2.
Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"
"D"
Today's review is The Bourne Legacy.
Directed by Tony Gilroy
Written by Tony Gilroy & Dan Gilroy.
Screen Story by Tony Gilroy
Inspired by the Jason Bourne series. Written by Robert Ludlum.
Review #169
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violence and action sequences.
Run Time: 135 min
Cast: In Order of Appearance
Jeremy Renner ... Aaron Cross
Scott Glenn ... Ezra Kramer
Stacy Keach ... Retired Adm. Mark Turso, USN
Edward Norton ... Retired Col. Eric Byer, USAF
Donna Murphy ... Dita Mandy
Michael Chernus ... Arthur Ingram
Rachel Weisz ... Dr. Marta Shearing
Neil Brooks Cunningham ... Dr. Dan Hillcott
Zeljko Ivanek ... Dr. Donald Foite
Albert Finney ... Dr. Albert Hirsch
Dennis Boutsikaris ... Terrence Ward
Oscar Isaac ... Outcome #3
David Strathairn ... Noah Vosen
The Jason Bourne franchise has been one of the more entertaining and profitable set of films to tackle the espionage genre. We have Robert Ludlum, Matt Damon, Doug Liman and Paul Greengrass to thank for that. However there is one name that is not recognized and he damn well should be.
Tony Gilroy.
He wrote or co wrote all three Bourne films. They established the blueprint for the rest of the talent to make those wonderful movies. You could even see the progression of each film in terms of severity, technique and overall story arc. That's all Gilroy. Without his input, those films would not be half as good as they actually were.
So here we are today as Gilroy takes the reigns both behind the typewriter and the camera with a new/not so new addition to the Bourne saga. And who better to continue where Damon and Greengrass left off than the man responsible for the stories in the first place.
Plot
An expansion of the universe from Robert Ludlum's novels, centered on a new hero whose stakes have been triggered by the events of the previous three films.
The first thing to realize going into this movie is that it's not a sequel in the sense that we are all accustomed to. This move takes place as events in The Bourne Ultimatum are happening as well. It's a very clever and bold move. It's also extremely risky. Gilroy rolls the dice that the public have either seen the last Bourne film or remember what happens in it. It's a big gamble that pays off if you take this film as part of the Jason Bourne DNA. If you walk into it expecting a stand alone Bourne type adventure then you will not like this film.
Aside from the tricky back and forth between The Bourne Ultimatum events and what happens with Cross, there is a lot to like about this movie. The first being Jeremy Renner. Cross is not like Bourne in any way. He doesn't have to recover his memory. He's at the height of his training and is fully aware of his status with his outfit. He plays Cross with the same robotic nature that all of these "special" agents do. There is a little more emotion behind him though because he's not trying to recall who and what he is. That is until the people who created him want him dead. This is where the movie falls into familiar territory. It takes a while to get there but you have to remember that Jason Bourne is not "directly" part of this new entry. Establishing Cross is necessary to get the ball rolling when he kicks ass later on.
Speaking of kicking ass.
There's plenty of that kind of action that you come to expect from a Bourne film. The fights are well choreographed but poorly edited. I totally get the idea of showcasing Cross' skill set and film makers in general use the editing room to do that when the better option is doing what they do in Hong Kong. They employ a technique called editing in camera. Just like in the states the fights are choreographed, rehearsed and blocked. Then when it's time to shoot they film a sequence uninterrupted and then change angles to vary the look of the action. Over here they over shoot the hell out of the fight then puzzle it together in post. As an editor. I know and respect the value of having coverage. That doesn't mean you always have to use it.
That's why it's called editing.
That being said it's not all that bad. The cuts are just too whimsical for my taste. There's not much room to breathe when Cross is dispatching a group of assailants. Perhaps it's finally time for me to dust off one of my old kung fu scripts. Shoot a fight and show these dudes how to properly cut a fight scene.
As always, the action serves as a vehicle to move the story along which at times can get a bit heavy. Gilroy opens up a huge pandora's box here concerning the mythology of Treadstone and Blackbriar. I won't say what he does but it's both smart and overbearing at the same time. This is the main issue with the film. It doesn't stand on it's own two feet as it was portrayed. The initial impression is that the film needed Jason Bourne's presence to get things off the ground. Again it was a clever move but the side effect is that you might think too much about Jason Bourne when you're supposed to be watching Cross. This is a small gripe for me but I can see how it can be a deterrent for someone else.
My biggest gripe or gripes deal with two important plot points.
The first is a signature fight. In all three Bourne films. Jason Bourne has a one on one contest with a Treadstone agent tasked with taking him out. All of those fights had the same elements in common.
They showed Bourne's fighting ability.
The men fighting him were equally skilled as he was.
Bourne showed his uncanny ability to improvise weaponry to gain the upper hand. He uses the pen in The Bourne Identity. The rolled up magazine in The Bourne Supremacy. Finally the book and towel in The Bourne Ultimatum.
Finally they all showed that he could not be bested.
So how does the signature fight with Cross compare. It doesn't. Because there wasn't one. This is a CRIME. What's even more egregious is the film gives Cross and me for that matter the opportunity to have that signature fight and it gets wasted. In addition the "villain" sent to go after him is built up to be some kind of bad ass and his demise is met in the lamest of ways.
So sad.
My other gripe is the ending. Like part of the plot, the climax suffers from and identity crisis. No pun intended. As you would expect it's open ended to try and franchise the saga with Renner behind the action. However, there's one shot in the film that screams closure point. You will know it when you see it. The adjustments to the ending felt like a tack on instead of a conclusion.
The rest of the cast in this film is good. Edward Norton highlights the squad. He plays Beyer with just the right amount of good vs evil balance. On the surface he's not a villain like Chris Cooper or David Strathairn were. They're motive was to save their own butts. Beyer is trying to contain the damage that those two created when they were hunting Bourne. Stacy Keach does an admirable job playing the head man and Rachel Weisz steps into Franka Potente's shoes nicely as the female sidekick. Her character has a lot more to offer in this instead of just eye candy. This was a nice and welcomed tweak to the roster.
Bottom line. The Bourne Legacy is a pretty good film. It's flawed but it rekindles your love of the Bourne universe. With a little more spit and polish, the potential for another great espionage franchise could be on the horizon.
On the 5 star scale. The Bourne Legacy gets 3.5 stars. With a "Go See It!" recommendation.
That's a wrap for today. Up next is The Expendables 2.
Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"
"D"
Total Recall
Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!
Today's review is Total Recall.
Directed by Len Wiseman.
Written by Kurt Wimmer & Mark Bomback.
Screen Story by Ronald Shusett, Dan O'Bannon, Jon Povill & Kurt Wimmer
Based on the short story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale." Written by Philip K. Dick.
Review #168
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity, and language.
Runtime: 118 min
Cast
Colin Farrell ... Douglas Quaid / Hauser
Kate Beckinsale ... Lori Quaid
Jessica Biel ... Melina
Bryan Cranston ... Cohaagen
Bokeem Woodbine ... Harry
Bill Nighy ... Matthias
John Cho ... McClane
Will Yun Lee ... Marek
Back in 1990. Paul Verhoeven and Arnold Schwarzenegger gave us one of sci fi's most popular films. Was it great? Hardly. Was it good? Debatable. Was it fun? HELL YEAH! Total Recall (1990) was so much fun that it earned a cult status that rivals any film of it's kind. The plot was twisty and convoluted. The characters were over the top as well as the violence. It was those factors blended together that made this one such a blast to experience. Fast forward 22 years later. The brain trust over at Columbia and Sony decided with their vast wisdom to remake this movie. A movie that has had something most don't.
Lasting power.
Ask anyone who's seen Total Recall (1990) and I can almost guarantee that they can recite a line or describe a scene that they remembered. Even if it's the martian hooker with the three boobies. That still counts. A movie with that much going for it presents a lot of challenges to the brave souls that try to give it another go at the multiplex.
The bigger challenge was trying to figure out why I dropped my money on this rubbish.
Plot
A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run.
The biggest problem with this movie is that it tries to cater to an audience that most likely never saw the original. That's a huge roadblock with remakes. Let alone remaking a film that a lot of people enjoyed. You have to balance honoring the original source material while trying to create a fresh perspective.
Easier said than done.
That doesn't mean that Wiseman and co deserve a pass. In fact it's the exact opposite. They deserve a beating for screwing this up. I get that you can't do a shot for shot remake. It's important to try and make this film your own. But in the process of giving this movie a new feel you can't strip away the parts that make the original so much fun. That's exactly what was dome here. The idea was to modernize the film. Give it a more gruff look and tone. They certainly did that.
At the expense of everything else. Including the story.
At it's core Total Recall follows the same narrative as the original. There were a few tweaks to give the feel of originality and it was a horrible move. The changes made no sense in a plot that was confusing enough. It was evident from jump that the writers just followed the basic layout of the story and just removed elements that made the original recognizable.
The biggest crime this film commits is that it could care less about it's characters. Everyone here is so cardboard with next to zero development. Aside from the wacky sci fi stuff the original presented. It also gave us some very memorable and colorful characters that made you feel something. Sharon Stone and Rachel Ticotin were hot as hell in that film and their fight was an epic one. Here Beckinsale and Biel only have the hot factor going for them. In fact Biel who plays Melina isn't mentioned by name until practically the very end of the film.
How in the hell is that possible?
Apparently it's very possible when you don't care about establishing relationships between your main players. Another huge travesty was the handling or lack of handling of Cohaagen. Ronny Cox played the same character in the original was a real dirt bag. He was such a brash holier than thou dictator. You knew was going to get his comeuppance at the end. This Cohaagen could have been some guy that stole a soda at the local bodega. His entrance to the film as the antagonist was one of the lamest I've seen in quite a while. Even lamer was his evil master plan. Just awful. To waste an acting talent like Bryan Cranston is just foul beyond comprehension.
Walter White has more balls than this guy.
The visual effects were nice but just too depressing. It brings you down. The film sucking beyond all recognition doesn't help either. The action was sub par. Very vanilla and uninspiring. There was no attempt to be original or exciting here. The closest thing to a decent action beat was the scene from the trailer when Quaid takes out the cops at the Rekall place. The attempt was there but even then they threw out intelligence. He's attacking police and shooting them. While he's dispatching the dudes around him he's surrounded by some cops from a higher position. What are they doing? In old school kung fu film fashion, they just wait to be killed. No attempt to join in or subdue the man from a better vantage point. Now of course I realize you can't capture this guy. He's supposed to get away. However, if you employ some form of choreography to the scene then it would be much more feasible to see him escape when he appears out numbered and outgunned.
On the 5 star scale. Total Recall gets .5 stars with a "Save The Loot!" recommendation.
There's probably some stuff here for you to like. If you've seen the original then don't waste your time. Just pop that in the DVD player. Otherwise, enter at your own risk. I had a really bad feeling going in that this film was going to bite.
Now if there only was a Rekall place around to make me forget.
That's a wrap for today. Up next is The Bourne Legacy.
Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"
"D"
Today's review is Total Recall.
Directed by Len Wiseman.
Written by Kurt Wimmer & Mark Bomback.
Screen Story by Ronald Shusett, Dan O'Bannon, Jon Povill & Kurt Wimmer
Based on the short story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale." Written by Philip K. Dick.
Review #168
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity, and language.
Runtime: 118 min
Cast
Colin Farrell ... Douglas Quaid / Hauser
Kate Beckinsale ... Lori Quaid
Jessica Biel ... Melina
Bryan Cranston ... Cohaagen
Bokeem Woodbine ... Harry
Bill Nighy ... Matthias
John Cho ... McClane
Will Yun Lee ... Marek
Back in 1990. Paul Verhoeven and Arnold Schwarzenegger gave us one of sci fi's most popular films. Was it great? Hardly. Was it good? Debatable. Was it fun? HELL YEAH! Total Recall (1990) was so much fun that it earned a cult status that rivals any film of it's kind. The plot was twisty and convoluted. The characters were over the top as well as the violence. It was those factors blended together that made this one such a blast to experience. Fast forward 22 years later. The brain trust over at Columbia and Sony decided with their vast wisdom to remake this movie. A movie that has had something most don't.
Lasting power.
Ask anyone who's seen Total Recall (1990) and I can almost guarantee that they can recite a line or describe a scene that they remembered. Even if it's the martian hooker with the three boobies. That still counts. A movie with that much going for it presents a lot of challenges to the brave souls that try to give it another go at the multiplex.
The bigger challenge was trying to figure out why I dropped my money on this rubbish.
Plot
A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run.
The biggest problem with this movie is that it tries to cater to an audience that most likely never saw the original. That's a huge roadblock with remakes. Let alone remaking a film that a lot of people enjoyed. You have to balance honoring the original source material while trying to create a fresh perspective.
Easier said than done.
That doesn't mean that Wiseman and co deserve a pass. In fact it's the exact opposite. They deserve a beating for screwing this up. I get that you can't do a shot for shot remake. It's important to try and make this film your own. But in the process of giving this movie a new feel you can't strip away the parts that make the original so much fun. That's exactly what was dome here. The idea was to modernize the film. Give it a more gruff look and tone. They certainly did that.
At the expense of everything else. Including the story.
At it's core Total Recall follows the same narrative as the original. There were a few tweaks to give the feel of originality and it was a horrible move. The changes made no sense in a plot that was confusing enough. It was evident from jump that the writers just followed the basic layout of the story and just removed elements that made the original recognizable.
The biggest crime this film commits is that it could care less about it's characters. Everyone here is so cardboard with next to zero development. Aside from the wacky sci fi stuff the original presented. It also gave us some very memorable and colorful characters that made you feel something. Sharon Stone and Rachel Ticotin were hot as hell in that film and their fight was an epic one. Here Beckinsale and Biel only have the hot factor going for them. In fact Biel who plays Melina isn't mentioned by name until practically the very end of the film.
How in the hell is that possible?
Apparently it's very possible when you don't care about establishing relationships between your main players. Another huge travesty was the handling or lack of handling of Cohaagen. Ronny Cox played the same character in the original was a real dirt bag. He was such a brash holier than thou dictator. You knew was going to get his comeuppance at the end. This Cohaagen could have been some guy that stole a soda at the local bodega. His entrance to the film as the antagonist was one of the lamest I've seen in quite a while. Even lamer was his evil master plan. Just awful. To waste an acting talent like Bryan Cranston is just foul beyond comprehension.
Walter White has more balls than this guy.
The visual effects were nice but just too depressing. It brings you down. The film sucking beyond all recognition doesn't help either. The action was sub par. Very vanilla and uninspiring. There was no attempt to be original or exciting here. The closest thing to a decent action beat was the scene from the trailer when Quaid takes out the cops at the Rekall place. The attempt was there but even then they threw out intelligence. He's attacking police and shooting them. While he's dispatching the dudes around him he's surrounded by some cops from a higher position. What are they doing? In old school kung fu film fashion, they just wait to be killed. No attempt to join in or subdue the man from a better vantage point. Now of course I realize you can't capture this guy. He's supposed to get away. However, if you employ some form of choreography to the scene then it would be much more feasible to see him escape when he appears out numbered and outgunned.
On the 5 star scale. Total Recall gets .5 stars with a "Save The Loot!" recommendation.
There's probably some stuff here for you to like. If you've seen the original then don't waste your time. Just pop that in the DVD player. Otherwise, enter at your own risk. I had a really bad feeling going in that this film was going to bite.
Now if there only was a Rekall place around to make me forget.
That's a wrap for today. Up next is The Bourne Legacy.
Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"
"D"
The Watch
Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!
Today's review is The Watch.
Directed by Akiva Schaffer.
Written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg.
Review #167
MPAA Rating: R for some strong sexual content including references, pervasive language and violent images.
Runtime: 101 min
Cast
Ben Stiller ... Evan
Vince Vaughn ... Bob
Jonah Hill ... Franklin
Richard Ayoade ... Jamarcus
Rosemarie DeWitt ... Abby
Will Forte ... Sgt. Bressman
Mel Rodriguez ... Chucho
Doug Jones ... Hero Alien
Erin Moriarty ... Chelsea
Nicholas Braun ... Jason
R. Lee Ermey ... Manfred
R rated comedies have gone through a bit of a renaissance recently. The Judd Apatow series of films started the craze. The rest of Hollywood followed his lead. The problem with that is when you follow someone's lead you should also follow the blueprint they left behind. That seemed to slip by the people that make comedies because instead of enhancing a plot with smarter dialogue or wittier jokes. They were replaced with dick and fart jokes or a relentless amount of vulgar language just to boost the rating.
A great R rated comedy has the ability to balance all of that. The two that instantly come to mind are Superbad and The Hangover. They were funny as hell and relate able. Superbad was a great tale of a few high school kids looking to get some. I realize The Hangover was as over the top as you could get but the core story is very plausible.
The Watch has nothing to do with either of those films. In fact they represent every single thing that makes R rated comedies so hard to get right.
Plot
Suburban dads who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion.
The obvious thing to attack here (no pun intended) is the story. The premise isn't ordinary by any means but the idea had some weight to it. Enough weight that if in the proper hands that could have made this film a great one. Instead it ended up in the hands of a pair of hack wannabe writers that substitute potentially funny situations with a bunch of four letter words. It gets old really fast and if it's not crafted properly all you have is people on screen hurling profanity.
This is where the proper hands stuff comes in. Had someone like Edgar Wright made this film with his dynamic duo Simon Pegg and Nick Frost then we would have had a gem on our hands. The three of them get it. They realize that you can have a comedy that's chock full of the idiotic language that appeals to younger viewers (and myself for that matter) while maintaining the films integrity. Need proof?
I present exhibits A & B. Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.
This is not about Edgar Wright or Pegg and Frost. This is about how Rogen and Goldberg took a very simple idea for a film and complicated it to degrees beyond my comprehension. What's even more maddening is the fact that these two guys can write. They wrote Superbad. Their ability is clearly evident. Somewhere down to road a severe case of the lazy's hit them and we are now forced to watch this drivel. The characters are just stupid and cardboard with the exception of Jonah Hill. He is the only bright light in a film that completely shrouds you in total darkness. There's no major character development amongst any of them. Normally that's not a major nitpick with comedies because if you're laughing then nobody cares.
The problem is I wasn't laughing as much as I should have. The funniest bit takes place towards the end when the guys stroll into Costco guns hot ready to kill the aliens. They're walking in slow motion looking all bad ass and they can't open up a pack of walkie talkies cause the plastic casing is too strong. The rest of the script is mired in time consuming, unrelated sub plots that bring nothing to the overall experience. Then to insult me even further. The script employs the most ridiculous plot twist that just takes this film from borderline watchable to utter crap.
I really thought I was going to see something different here. It's too bad really because I am a fan of Rogen and Goldberg. But they better get their acts together because my patience is beginning to wear thin.
On the 5 star scale. The Watch gets the goose egg. 0 stars with a "For the Love of God Stay Home!" recommendation.
That's a wrap for today. Up next is Total Recall. I have a bad feeling that this one is going to really suck.
Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"
"D"
Today's review is The Watch.
Directed by Akiva Schaffer.
Written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg.
Review #167
MPAA Rating: R for some strong sexual content including references, pervasive language and violent images.
Runtime: 101 min
Cast
Ben Stiller ... Evan
Vince Vaughn ... Bob
Jonah Hill ... Franklin
Richard Ayoade ... Jamarcus
Rosemarie DeWitt ... Abby
Will Forte ... Sgt. Bressman
Mel Rodriguez ... Chucho
Doug Jones ... Hero Alien
Erin Moriarty ... Chelsea
Nicholas Braun ... Jason
R. Lee Ermey ... Manfred
R rated comedies have gone through a bit of a renaissance recently. The Judd Apatow series of films started the craze. The rest of Hollywood followed his lead. The problem with that is when you follow someone's lead you should also follow the blueprint they left behind. That seemed to slip by the people that make comedies because instead of enhancing a plot with smarter dialogue or wittier jokes. They were replaced with dick and fart jokes or a relentless amount of vulgar language just to boost the rating.
A great R rated comedy has the ability to balance all of that. The two that instantly come to mind are Superbad and The Hangover. They were funny as hell and relate able. Superbad was a great tale of a few high school kids looking to get some. I realize The Hangover was as over the top as you could get but the core story is very plausible.
The Watch has nothing to do with either of those films. In fact they represent every single thing that makes R rated comedies so hard to get right.
Plot
Suburban dads who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion.
The obvious thing to attack here (no pun intended) is the story. The premise isn't ordinary by any means but the idea had some weight to it. Enough weight that if in the proper hands that could have made this film a great one. Instead it ended up in the hands of a pair of hack wannabe writers that substitute potentially funny situations with a bunch of four letter words. It gets old really fast and if it's not crafted properly all you have is people on screen hurling profanity.
This is where the proper hands stuff comes in. Had someone like Edgar Wright made this film with his dynamic duo Simon Pegg and Nick Frost then we would have had a gem on our hands. The three of them get it. They realize that you can have a comedy that's chock full of the idiotic language that appeals to younger viewers (and myself for that matter) while maintaining the films integrity. Need proof?
I present exhibits A & B. Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.
This is not about Edgar Wright or Pegg and Frost. This is about how Rogen and Goldberg took a very simple idea for a film and complicated it to degrees beyond my comprehension. What's even more maddening is the fact that these two guys can write. They wrote Superbad. Their ability is clearly evident. Somewhere down to road a severe case of the lazy's hit them and we are now forced to watch this drivel. The characters are just stupid and cardboard with the exception of Jonah Hill. He is the only bright light in a film that completely shrouds you in total darkness. There's no major character development amongst any of them. Normally that's not a major nitpick with comedies because if you're laughing then nobody cares.
The problem is I wasn't laughing as much as I should have. The funniest bit takes place towards the end when the guys stroll into Costco guns hot ready to kill the aliens. They're walking in slow motion looking all bad ass and they can't open up a pack of walkie talkies cause the plastic casing is too strong. The rest of the script is mired in time consuming, unrelated sub plots that bring nothing to the overall experience. Then to insult me even further. The script employs the most ridiculous plot twist that just takes this film from borderline watchable to utter crap.
I really thought I was going to see something different here. It's too bad really because I am a fan of Rogen and Goldberg. But they better get their acts together because my patience is beginning to wear thin.
On the 5 star scale. The Watch gets the goose egg. 0 stars with a "For the Love of God Stay Home!" recommendation.
That's a wrap for today. Up next is Total Recall. I have a bad feeling that this one is going to really suck.
Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"
"D"
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