The Watch

Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!



Today's review is The Watch.



Directed by Akiva Schaffer.



Written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg.



Review #167

MPAA Rating: R for some strong sexual content including references, pervasive language and violent images.

Runtime: 101 min


Cast

Ben Stiller ... Evan

Vince Vaughn ... Bob

Jonah Hill ... Franklin

Richard Ayoade ... Jamarcus

Rosemarie DeWitt ... Abby

Will Forte ... Sgt. Bressman

Mel Rodriguez ... Chucho

Doug Jones ... Hero Alien

Erin Moriarty ... Chelsea

Nicholas Braun ... Jason

R. Lee Ermey ... Manfred

R rated comedies have gone through a bit of a renaissance recently. The Judd Apatow series of films started the craze. The rest of Hollywood followed his lead. The problem with that is when you follow someone's lead you should also follow the blueprint they left behind. That seemed to slip by the people that make comedies because instead of enhancing a plot with smarter dialogue or wittier jokes. They were replaced with dick and fart jokes or a relentless amount of vulgar language just to boost the rating.

A great R rated comedy has the ability to balance all of that. The two that instantly come to mind are Superbad and The Hangover. They were funny as hell and relate able. Superbad was a great tale of a few high school kids looking to get some. I realize The Hangover was as over the top as you could get but the core story is very plausible.

The Watch has nothing to do with either of those films. In fact they represent every single thing that makes R rated comedies so hard to get right.

Plot

Suburban dads who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion. 


The obvious thing to attack here (no pun intended) is the story. The premise isn't ordinary by any means but the idea had some weight to it. Enough weight that if in the proper hands that could have made this film a great one. Instead it ended up in the hands of a pair of hack wannabe writers that substitute potentially funny situations with a bunch of four letter words. It gets old really fast and if it's not crafted properly all you have is people on screen hurling profanity.

This is where the proper hands stuff comes in. Had someone like Edgar Wright made this film with his dynamic duo Simon Pegg and Nick Frost then we would have had a gem on our hands. The three of them get it. They realize that you can have a comedy that's chock full of the idiotic language that appeals to younger viewers (and myself for that matter) while maintaining the films integrity. Need proof?

I present exhibits A & B. Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

This is not about Edgar Wright or Pegg and Frost. This is about how Rogen and Goldberg took a very simple idea for a film and complicated it to degrees beyond my comprehension. What's even more maddening is the fact that these two guys can write. They wrote Superbad. Their ability is clearly evident. Somewhere down to road a severe case of the lazy's hit them and we are now forced to watch this drivel. The characters are just stupid and cardboard with the exception of Jonah Hill. He is the only bright light in a film that completely shrouds you in total darkness. There's no major character development amongst any of them. Normally that's not a major nitpick with comedies because if you're laughing then nobody cares.

The problem is I wasn't laughing as much as I should have. The funniest bit takes place towards the end when the guys stroll into Costco guns hot ready to kill the aliens. They're walking in slow motion looking all bad ass and they can't open up a pack of walkie talkies cause the plastic casing is too strong. The rest of the script is mired in time consuming, unrelated sub plots that bring nothing to the overall experience. Then to insult me even further. The script employs the most ridiculous plot twist that just takes this film from borderline watchable to utter crap.

I really thought I was going to see something different here. It's too bad really because I am a fan of Rogen and Goldberg. But they better get their acts together because my patience is beginning to wear thin.

On the 5 star scale. The Watch gets the goose egg. 0 stars with a "For the Love of God Stay Home!" recommendation.

That's a wrap for today. Up next is Total Recall. I have a bad feeling that this one is going to really suck.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"

"D"