Iron Man 3

Welcome to another episode of Lights....Camera....Popcorn!

Today's review is Iron Man 3.

Directed by Shane Black.

Written by Drew Pearce & Shane Black.

Based on the Comic Book "Iron Man" created by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Don Heck & Larry Lieber.

Review #211

MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence throughout, and brief suggestive content.

Run Time: 130 min

Cast

Robert Downey Jr. ... Tony Stark  

Gwyneth Paltrow ... Pepper Potts  

Don Cheadle ... Colonel James Rhodes

Guy Pearce ... Aldrich Killian  

Rebecca Hall ... Maya Hansen  

Jon Favreau ... Happy Hogan  

Ben Kingsley ... The Mandarin  

James Badge Dale ... Savin  

Stephanie Szostak ... Brandt  

Paul Bettany ... Jarvis (voice)  

William Sadler ... President Ellis  

Ty Simpkins ... Harley Keener

Miguel Ferrer ... Vice President Rodriguez 

If you recall the review I did for The Dark Knight Rises. I began with a commentary on how trilogies scared me to death. Especially in today's cinema world.So going into this film I was wondering if this in fact was a trilogy or just a part 3 to a series of Iron Man films that will continue the newly formed Marvel universe continuity.

Well I got my answer and man am I PISSED!

Plot

When Tony Stark's world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution.

Oh Boy! Where do I begin? I'll start with the biggest complaint by me and many other fans of both the comic and the series.

The Mandarin.

The announcement of The Mandarin as the new villain for this installment brought many questions and intrigue. Mainly due to the fact that Marvel wanted him to be in the first film but Favreau shot that down. One of his reasons was not knowing how to bring that character into the fold when Iron Man is mostly a grounded in reality type superhero. In the comics, The Mandarin is more of a supernatural character and Favreau didn't want to incorporate a "magical" villain in the first round. It's a pretty lame excuse considering how The Mandarin is portrayed in this film but that's what Favreau wanted and there you have it.

So right at the jump, The Mandarin is on the screen looking badass and intimidating. One of the VERY FEW things Shane Black gets right is establishing The Mandarin as not just the villain but a villain that will not be trifled with. He possessed a satanic and calculating quality that I ate up. You just knew that this man was tactical and displayed an intelligence akin to The Joker in The Dark Knight. 

Then it happened.

I really want to say what happened. I really really REALLY DO! But I have to maintain both my restraint and overall philosophy of not spoiling major plot points. Let's say the "change" in The Mandarin's character sent a wave of rage through my veins that I almost walked out of the theater. After seeing what they had done, I had checked out of this film. Up until that point I was still on board. Which included having to endure the scenes with my next beef.

The Kid.

We all know as action movies go there are a few golden rules to follow. One of the bigger ones is you don't give a partner to a character that has always been a loner. This film not only does that but goes all the way and makes it a kid. There are so many things wrong with this that I won't bother to go through them all. Instead I'll break down the biggest flaw with the introduction to this character and how he relates to Stark. If you've seen the previous Iron Man film and The Avengers and I'm assuming you have. Then you already know that Tony Stark is and always has been a loner.

The man marches to the beat of his own drum and never needed to be guided by anyone to solve a problem. Yes at times someone from the outside would be there in a pinch but it would historically be someone from the Marvel Universe. Here they bring in this kid who's only purpose is to provide a break in the action while we all recover from the scene when The Mandarin attacked Tony's house. This kid is supposed to give us some comedic back and forth with Tony and while some of the jokes were funny, the only thing this kid accomplished was drag this film down.

WAY DOWN!

Now on to beef number three.

This will sort of feel like I'm bringing up The Mandarin again but bear with me. Looking back at the last two Iron Man films the biggest issue I had with both of them is the villain's were exactly the same. In Iron Man we had Obadiah Stane running Stark Enterprises and selling Stark weapons to terrorists. Then when Tony invents the suit he wants it. So he creates one of his own and they fight. In Iron Man 2, replacing Stane is Justin Hammer. Head of a rival weapons company that unsuccessfully replicates the Iron Man suit. He then employs Ivan Vanko A.K.A Whiplash to build Iron Man drones. Then Vanko builds his own suit and they fight.

Notice a trend?

Iron Man 3 does the same thing. Only this time instead of a weapons manufacturer we get AIM. Advanced Idea Mechanics looking to partner up with Stark Enterprises on a project called Extremis. Led by a man named Aldrich Killian. C'mon man! With a name like Killian you already know this dude is up to no good. Once again, another villain who's source of power or wealth comes from corporate means.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

This is why what happened to The Mandarin sucked SOOOOOO MUCH! He was the break in the chain. He was the villain that was less glitz and glamor and more grit and gore. He was the change of pace that we desperately needed and instead we got this.

Which leads me to my final beef that pretty much encompasses all of the problems this film has.

The script.

This script is in a word a MESS! There is so much crap thrown in here that it was impossible to make this film coherent unless it was 3 plus hours. Iron Man 3 suffers from what I call DLS or Damon Linelof Syndrome. They came up with all of these ideas. Some good. some not so good, some outright horrid, and instead of weeding out what worked and what didn't.

They put it all in.

Lazy writing at it's finest. Drew Pearce and Shane Black tried to humanize Tony Stark coming off the events in The Avengers by giving him insomnia. OK. I'll go with that. It's actually a pretty good idea. The man who walks around like he's god's gift to the world has been traumatized enough to literally fall apart at the mention of what happened in Manhattan. I liked that a lot. They did a similar thing in Iron Man 2 and just like in that film the execution and resolution was PISS POOR! 

Actually I can't say resolution for this film because THERE WASN'T ONE! Hence the DLS. Just like Lindelof, a great idea for a character was given to us but then when the guys can't come up with a solution to the problem they mask their failure of execution with a big action scene or a secondary character like the kid. Or even worse hope we forget about it.

Unacceptable.

That was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to the script problems in this film. There are so many subplots and character arcs here that will make your head spin. Shane Black does a terrible job balancing the plots he's juggling here. What's even more painful is that he was partly responsible because he was a co writer. I read an article about how Marvel Studios conducts their business and aside from being notoriously cheap with their talent. They make every director/writer pitch their concepts before signing on. This is common in the movie biz so this failure of a film falls on them just as much if not more so. They heard the pitch, they knew every detail and yet they approved this garbage. I have two theories as to why they allowed this film to be seen by the public and neither one is good.

Apathy or Ego.

Marvel has established itself as the emperor of comic book films and after the massive success of their Phase One series, it's very difficult to recapture the mojo that made this studio what it is today. So I dare to ask. Is it possible that Marvel just doesn't care because they know we'll all see Iron Man 3 no matter what the story is? Or do they think because of their success that they feel no matter what they put out it's good? These questions terrify me and if Iron Man 3 is an indication of what's to come down the road, then the rest of you should be as worried as I am.

I'm holding out hope and trust that Captain America: Winter Soldier and Thor: The Dark World will  help rebound Phase 2. They better because it's gotten off to a real bad start.

On the 5 star scale. Iron Man 3 gets the goose egg. 0 stars with a "Save The Loot!" recommendation.

That's a wrap for today. Up next is Mud.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"

"D"