Cop Out

Welcome to another episode of The "D" List.

Today's review is Cop Out. Directed by Kevin Smith. Written by Robb & Mark Cullen.

I have seen a ton of movies over the course of my 33 years on this planet and I can't recall a movie's title explaining exactly what the film is about before seeing a single frame. Cop Out is one of the worst comedies to come out in quite a while, not because it wasn't funny, because the story is so jumbled and all over the place that it felt like a "cop out" not to surround the jokes with a solid flowing narrative to support it.

The story follows the detective duo Jimmy Monroe played by Bruce Willis and Paul Hodges played by a very tame Tracy Morgan. After busting a small time drug dealer. Monroe and Hodges get the name of the dealers supplier and stake the place out to make the bust. It goes wrong and they get suspended for failing to make the arrest while causing a public scene. This complicates Jimmy's situation because his daughter is getting married and he can't afford to pay for it. He decides to sell his prize baseball card to raise the money when the card is stolen by Dave played by Sean William Scott. The rest of the film follows Jimmy's plan to get the card back which coincidentally connects him to the drug dealers that he was looking to bust.

That's the plot. Got it????? I didn't think so. That was the problem with Cop Out. The story is so ludicrous that it's impossible to see it as anything else. It was clear from the opening scene that this movie was intended to homage the buddy cop films of the 80's but those films had legitimate situations for the cops to get into. That wasn't the case here. Another problem was poor casting. This was some of the poorest casting I have ever seen. The bad guys were mexican, OK, no porblem there. Except the actors hired to play them were ALL DOMINICAN!!!!! I can't fathom an explanation for that one. The other bad cast was Tracy Morgan. He simply does not work here. His character is so confusing that you don't know how to feel about him. At times he's a tough guy, at  but mostly he's just silly and the silliness isn't good at all.

The script is so messy and poorly constructed that you feel the film dragging. That's the kiss of death for comedies. This move was in clear need of rescue at the keyboard and that's where Kevin Smith comes in. This is his 1st directorial effort based on a screenplay he didn't write. There were SO MANY opportunities for him to jump in and weave his magic wand of words and spice up not only the comedy but the story itself. He was quoted at press junkets saying that he was excited to jump out of the "Kevin Smith" world and direct something that didn't come from his own mind in an attempt to lose the moniker "The Clerks Guy." For those of you not aware of what I mean allow me to explain.

Kevin Smith is the writer and director of Clerks. It's a small budget comedy that got him noticed in hollywood. He proceeded to make several films with characters that came from the original Clerks. Chasing Amy, Dogma (My personal favorite) and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. If you are familiar with any of these titles then you know what I'm talking about. What happened to Kevin Smith was after he made those films he branched away from the Clerks "universe" and tried more original material like Jersey Girl and Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Those films bombed and questions about Smith's ability to make movies outside the Clerks "world" began to surface. So when he was tasked with directing Cop Out, he saw it as an opportunity to leave his VERY POPULAR reputation behind. Sorry brother not only did you FAIL miserably directing this crappy script. It desperately needed some of your "Clerks Guy" magic. It's a crying shame that he didn't step in and fix what was a messy but very fixable script.

I know he has a lot of haters but I am a fan of Kevin Smith's work. I love his innate ability to turn a conversation about blowing up the Death Star in Return of the Jedi into feeling sorry for the members of the empire who were killed building it while it was being attacked by the rebels. See Clerks and you'll get the meaning. Brilliant geek writing. He's a geek just like me. In fact he's a BIG geek. I can appreciate the fanboy opinions he has about some of hollywood's biggest properties like Star Wars, Batman, Superman and so on.

Far be it for me to give someone who's made movies in tinsletown advice. Especially since those films have a cult following that amass in the millions but here's my plea to Kevin Smith.

"Embrace the Clerk's Universe. That's what got you to where you are today. If it ain't broke don't fix it playa."

OK enough Kevin Smith kowtowing.

Despite the dreadful, draggy elements of the script, there were some pretty good laughs. The highlight being the scene when Jimmy and Paul track down and stop Brooklyn's "most dangerous" car thief. The exchange between the 3 in the scene was side splitting. If the movie was just them then there would have been a huge hit.

On the 5 star scale. Cop Out gets 1 star for the scene I just mentioned, otherwise it's a goose egg. With a split "Save The Loot/Netflix It" recommendation. Leaning much more heavily toward Save The Loot.

That's all for today.

Up next is Shutter Island. A decent yet disappointing film when you factor who's in front and behind the camera.

Until Next Episode...."I'll Save You A Seat!"

"D"