Robin Hood

Welcome to another episode of The "D" List.

Today's review is Robin Hood. Directed by Ridley Scott. Written by Brian Helgeland. Story by Brian Helgeland, Ethan Reiff and Cyrus Voris.

Rated PG-13 for violence including intense sequences of warfare, and some sexual content.

Cast

Russell Crowe - Robin Longstride

Cate Blanchett - Marion Loxley

Max von Sydow - Sir Walter Loxley

William Hurt - William Marshal

Mark Strong - Godfrey

Oscar Isaac - Prince/King John

Danny Huston - King Richard The Lionheart
   
Eileen Atkins - Eleanor of Aquitaine

Mark Addy - Friar Tuck

Matthew Macfadyen - Sheriff of Nottingham

Kevin Durand - Little John

Douglas Hodge - Sir Robert Loxley


Hey people. I'm sorry for getting this review out to you so late. I forgot to write it which is a perfect indication of how forgettable this movie was. Before I go any further I have to amend a statement I made in my last review when I was teasing this film. I said that this was Ridley Scott's rendition of the classic legend. I was wrong. This is a re-telling.....actually this is a prequel to Robin Hood. And it's right here where the film FAILS.

After the death of King Richard. Robin Longstride returns to England. During his visit home he comes across a dying knight, Sir Robert Loxley. Sir Robert tasks Robin to return his sword to his father. Sounds simple enough right? Well what happens next is a whirlwind of complication and convoluted twists and turns that caring for any of these characters go right out the window.

I know I didn't reveal much of the plot, that's because if I divulged any further, all of you would be sending me hate mail for giving you migraines. That's how stupid and over complicated the plot was. This was a byproduct of 1 simple thing. Due to the fact that Robin Hood is a myth, there never was any recorded backstory concerning everyone's favorite bandit with a bow. So Team Scott decided to create one. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If it ain't broke.......DON'T FIX IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Robin Hood legend as told so many times over is so rich with action, romance, drama and history that telling the story of the birth of this classic character is just unnecessary not to mention DUMB!!!!!!!!!!! There is so much off with this "origin" story that it distorts any fond memories you ever had of Robin firing his bow at 1,000 paces and nailing his target with the precision of the highest trained assassin.

The script is jumbled and reeks of massive re-writes. The dialogue is choppy, corny and at times out of touch with the period of history that they are in. No one in the 11th century says "We go way back." The action scenes were OK. Nothing impressive by my standards of period films like this one. The final battle of the beach paled in comparison to any of the battles in Braveheart. Also just a note of mention. If this is supposed to be the "origin" of Robin Hood......why is 47 year old Russell Crowe playing him? You've taken half of Robin Hood's life away before he actually becomes Robin Hood. This doesn't bode well for the sequel that was inevitably left open at the climax of this one. Sadly I won't waste my time. I'll just watch the Disney animated Robin Hood. That fox kicked some major a@@.

On the 5 star scale. Robin Hood gets .5 star with a split "Save The Loot/Netflix It" recommendation.

This one disappoints me to no end. Ridley Scott and Helgeland collaboration should have yielded much better results. I guess we all have our off days.

That's all for today. Up next is MacGruber.

Until Next Episode......"I'll Save You A Seat!"

"D"